This morning I read a sweet article on the Purple Clover website titled “The Girl My Husband Married” written by Lois Alter Mark.
In the article, she talks about a long marriage, the early chemistry and how life, love, and our physical body changes over the years.How our focus shifts from solely each other to kids, work, life pressures and how we spend so much time with technology (phones, computers etc).
She talks about wanting to be that girl again, wanting the chemistry and focus back. How she is going to take the initiative and pay closer attention to her husband and less to her phone and Ipad.
I read the article and thought “me too!” and promptly shared it on my Facebook page with the statement that I wish I had written it.
Then I started to think about it.
That girl again? Oh hell no. I do not want to be that girl again.
That girl was skinny, depressed and dependent. She needed a bowl of ice cream, a good antidepressant and a job.
The woman I am now is exactly who I want to be.
Here I am. I’m older, wiser, more weathered.
I’m fatter. Yes, I said fatter. Let’s call it what it is. (Ice cream is my friend)
I’m not that size 2 little thing who looked good in anything and in nothing. I might be lumpy, but I’m so much happier and more confident.
I’m hot. Not sexy hot. Just hot. Damn menopause. That dewy glow I once had? Now it is sweat from the hot flashes. It is too hot in here. (here meaning EVERYWHERE)
I’m no longer depressed. They make really good drugs for that now.
I work which means I’m no longer dependent. I’m tired of working. Work is not all it is cracked up to be and I can’t believe I ever wanted to work. I wouldn’t mind being dependent again. In fact, I’m going to hang a sign around my neck that says “Don’t want to work. Just give me stuff”.
I’ve been married to the love of my life for 41 years and, of course, our love has changed. Focus changes, things get in the way and as we near retirement it would be nice to refocus on our relationship.
But I’m not doing it without technology. Technology is our friend. Technology rocks.
In fact, maybe I’ll send him a text or FaceTime him from my home office where I’m watching Wheel of Fortune on MY tv while I type this post to the family room where he is watching NCIS on HIS tv and holding his Ipad in his lap. Maybe we can text back and forth about what’s on television that we both might want to watch.
Then we can meet somewhere in the middle and watch a neutral TV. Like a real date.
But first I’m going to send him this text: “Please turn down the f**king thermostat and put on a damn sweater. I’M HOT (but not sexy hot, don’t get any ideas). xoxo”