Do you know anyone who talks like this?
or like this?
HI! CAN YOU HEAR ME?
or hardest of all for me:
The fast and loud talker.
(The word Falker according to the Urban Dictionary can also stand for a Facebook Stalker but that isn’t what we’re talking about today. That is a post for another day because I bet there are FALking Falkers out there too.)
This FALker can be yelling 8 inches away from my face but even that close and loud I can’t understand a damn thing because there is no white space between the words.
I bet these FALkers go without a lot of things because people are busy putting in ear plugs and looking up what they thought was one word in a foreign language on google translator.
A FALker always make me feel like I’m suffocating. I want to breathe FOR them.
Sometimes I stare at their chest to see if they are breathing at all ( you know, in case of vampires….vampires don’t breathe …).
I haven’t met a FALking vampire yet thank goodness, but I do know several FALkers.
They can be heard from 50 yards away and sound like the roar of a freight train.
A FALking freight train.
When I know a FALker is headed my way, I hide ( you know, just in case of the vampire thing again but also because they make my ears hurt and I can’t breathe).
I’m not emotionally equipped to deal with those FALkers.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have a pair of headphones that translate fast and loud speech into normal speech?
The number of FALkers in the world is growing so I think anything that helps people deal with these FALkers would be a best seller.
In the meantime, I’m practicing saying “FALk Off!” for the next time I run into one of those FALkers.
Because I’m FALking finished.