I woke up bright and early this morning after a beautiful fall night of windows open sleep.

I say “woke up” but if you’ve read my blog before you know that doesn’t mean I was really awake.     I needed coffee for that.

I weeble wobbled  my way downstairs, filled my coffee cup and headed out to the screened porch to smoke that first really good cigarette.

I opened the french door and stepped out.

Not quite.

I opened the french door and tried to step out.

I ran right into the screen door which was shut because yesterday was a beautiful fall day and we had windows and doors open.

Smack! Full cup of coffee went all over my white robe, the screen, the floor, the french door.

“F**kity F*** F***”  were the first words I uttered aloud this morning.

I had one of those slow motion reactions.

I looked at the screen.

I looked at the floor.

I looked down at the coffee on my robe and wondered if I could just ring it into my mouth.

I managed to wipe up the mess, drink what was left in the cup and have my cigarette.    I got ready for work and left early so I could stop at Dunkin Donuts for TWO cups of coffee.

As I turned the corner I could see there was already a line of 15 cars waiting in the drive thru.

The second set of words I uttered aloud today were “F**ity F*** F***!”

I guess a lot of people walked into the screen door this morning.

I got in line and, wouldn’t you know it, the woman in front of me was doing everything except paying attention to the moving car in front of her.

You can guess what my next string of words were.

All is well that finally ends well though.   I got my two large cups of coffee.

I’m awake.

It’s still Monday but nothing else can happen.   I’ve used my quota of swear words for the day.