The Stress Test- His … and mine

This morning, Dave had an early appointment for a routine stress test.   He stuck his head in the bedroom door at about 5:55 am and said: “I’m leaving .”      I managed to lift my weebly wobbly head off the pillow long enough to croak out a  “bye, call me when you leave the doctor’s office” and then crashed right back into that deep early morning * I don’t have to get up yet* sleep.

In what seemed like a blink, there was a noise trying to break through my sleep fog.  I realized it was my phone,  fumbled around trying to find it and opened one eye to see the clock said 6:30 am.  

Anyone who has read my blog knows that I am not a morning person.  I am a confused wobbly mess.  It is vital to my mental health and other’s physical safety that my mornings begin with peace and quiet and no rush to do anything. It takes me at least an hour to get my body to solidify and my brain to kick in once the coffee has hit its mark.

Now there was a voice on the phone wanting to talk to me before I even sat up. The conversation went like this:

Early Morning Dave( EMD)-  ” I forgot my f*ing clothes.”

Weeble Wobble Kathy(WWK)- “huh, what?”  ( I have a cloudy mental image of Dave driving in his underwear)

EMD- “Are you up.”

WWK-  “huh? Getting up” ( Who is this? Dave would know I’m not up)

EMD-“I think they are laying on the kitchen table. I’m headed back that way” ( I begin to  realize he means his workout clothes for the stress test)

WWK- “Ok, um, I’ll hang them on the outside door knob.”

EMD- “I was going to have you meet me somewhere, so I don’t have to drive all the way home”  (Really? WHO IS THIS? )

WWK- “Uh, I have to go to the bathroom and put on clothes” (  A mental picture forms of flashing lights behind me and being pulled over for driving without being under the influence of coffee while wearing my bra as a hat)

EMD-“nevermind, just meet me in the driveway with the clothes”  ( I had managed to stand up at this point but was still leaning on the bed)

He hung up. I stared at the phone for a minute before I hung up.   Then I turned  in a complete circle, waving my arms like I was shooing away flies while I tried to process what I was supposed to be doing.  My brain was screaming ‘COFFEE’ and my feet seemed pointed the wrong way.

I managed to find my robe and slither down the stairs. I headed toward the coffee pot and saw the bag of clothes on the table.   I hooked them over my arm ( you know, just in case I forgot what the heck I was doing) hit the brew button on the coffee and headed out to the garage to wait.   He was there in less than five minutes, I handed him the bag and headed back in the house.

It was at this point that I realized my heart was racing, and I was feeling very stressed.   He made it in time for his scheduled test, and I had a test I hadn’t scheduled.

I’d say it was a test I failed, except I did manage to get to work fully dressed and not wearing a bra hat.  That’s an A+ in my world….


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