Holey-er than Thou

This post has nothing to do with my piety.   Though in a round-a-belly way it might have something to do with my pie eating.

Every single shirt, t-shirt or top I have develops mysterious holes in the front.   In the lower part, approximately around my navel.

In the beginning I blamed the zipper on a particular pair of jeans.   I stopped wearing those.

The holes continued to show up.

Seat belt I thought.   Nope.   Desk computer tray?  Not that either.

I’ve investigated every possible cause and found nothing so all I can do is surmise that either:

1.  I have a passive/aggressive fairy living in my closet who hates my clothes

or

2.  I have belly button bayonets that shoot out without my knowledge

I have gained a little weight  ( due to the donut tour I took of the United States) so the bayonets could be the cause.  I wouldn’t necessarily notice those since they might be hidden in the results of that tour.

Just as much a possibility though is the clothes hating passive/aggressive fairy .  Other people have guardian angel fairies and sweet garden fairies.    I end up with a clothes eating hormonal fairyland reject.

crazed fairy

So, unless you have a ton of holey shirts in your closet, I think that I am probably…..holey-er  than thou.

Where is that fly swatter………..

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