People who need people,
Are the luckiest people in the world
We’re children, needing other children
And yet letting a grown-up pride
Hide all the need inside
Acting more like children than children
The lyric above is from a song that has always been a favorite of mine, “People” sung by Barbara Streisand.
I’ve spent many years telling myself that I do not need friendship. I’m no longer sure that is true. We are people who need people. I am a person who needs people.
We are complicated beings. Each of us bringing past experience, past hurt, past baggage to any new relationship.
Friendship , especially a group friendship, is a lot like playing scrabble with a big bag of jumbled letters. One person spells out F-U-N and another might spell out H-U-R-T or C-O-N-F-U-S-E-D.
I believe the only word we need to spell is A-C-C-E-P-T.
If I can be accepted for who I am and I can accept others for who they are then the sea of friendship stays calm.
What seems to ruin the calm and cause the sea to roil is E-X-P-E-C-T-A-T-I-O-N and D-I-S-A-P-O-I-N-T-M-E-N-T.
When we project our expectations on others ( what have you done for me lately? or why aren’t you acting like I think you should act?) and they don’t meet those expectations then we end up dissatisfied with the relationship.
Each of us has positive and negative energy. I want to try to focus on the positive energy I see in others.
Focus on the good, and the bad recedes.
Then maybe I can spell out C-O-M-F-O-R-T-A-B-L-E or T-R-U-S-T or the most important to me A-C-C-E-P-T-E-D.
If we keep it simple and focus on the good things, both in ourselves and in others, it is easier to love and be loved.
Maybe so but we have to start somewhere. Let’s start with the positive.