Last week I upgraded my Grammarly account to “Premium” status.

I couldn’t help myself;  they had a black Friday sale, and I couldn’t resist.

I was just reading the weekly report they send by email.  I call it the “YOUR GRAMMAR SUCKS” report.

Mine says:

I was more active than 82% of Grammarly users ( read: you wrote a lot)

I was more accurate (mistakes/words) than 42% of Grammarly users ( read: you suck!)

My vocabulary was more dynamic (unique/total words) than 78% of Grammarly users( read: you suck but with flair)

My top mistakes were:

Missing comma in a compound sentence. ( I’m rolling my eyes, shaking my head and hopping on one foot. There’s your comma momma.)

Unnecessary ellipsis. ( …….) and for good measure ………..

Incorrect spacing with punctuation. ( Oh holy hell,  maybe    I    hit    the  space bar too   many     times)

The weekly tip is the explanation or definition of ellipsis:  Those little dots often found in a sentence or quote.  Coming from the Greek word meaning “omission” and that’s just what it does: an ellipsis shows that something has been left out.

Apparently Grammarly has decided I must not know what ellipsis are, and this is the reason I use them unnecessarily.   So they felt the need to define them for me.  Grammar checker and dictionary!   I got my money’s worth there!

But how does Grammarly know my ellipsis usage is unnecessary?    If I use the ellipsis ( and I do) to mean an unfinished thought or a leading statement then telling me they are unnecessary means Grammarly is a psychic program and knows what the finished thought would be.  A psychic program for $68! Booya!

Now I know there are purists who hate the ellipsis but I feel sorry for the little dots, I think they get a bad rap.

By the way,  three is the correct number to use, four is considered informal and more than that just means you’re trying to incite a grammar riot.

Hey……………………

Don’t trip over the missing comma on your way to the riot.

Finish this thought…………

I can’t wait for next weeks Grammarly report.

“Incited a riot in 98% of Grammarly users.”